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Quotes

Quotes

Dave Barry Funny Quote

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.- Dave Barry Funny Quote

Elayne Boosler Funny Quote

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.-Elayne Boosler Funny Quote

Bob Monkhouse Funny Quote

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.- Bob Monkhouse Funny Quote

Who Died Before Collecting Social Security

What about the people that died before collecting social security? THIS IS SURE SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT! THE ONLY THING WRONG WITH THE GOVERNMENT’S CALCULATION OF AVAILABLE SOCIAL SECURITY IS THEY FORGOT TO FIGURE IN THE PEOPLE WHO DIED BEFORE THEY EVER COLLECTED A