If you’re a parent who celebrates Christmas, chances are you have an Elf on the Shelf and are taking full advantage of the fake disciplinary measures it can bring. For example, you better go to bed on time tonight because the Elf is watching you! Or, you better eat all your vegetables or else the Elf on the Shelf is going to tell Santa not to bring you that special present you’ve been wanting! Parents, you know the drill. But then there are other clever parents out there who have taken their Elf on the Shelf experience a wee bit
It wasn’t uncommon to see Rodney Dangerfield on the Tonight Show in the 60’s and 70’s. In fact, the comdian appeared on Johnny Carson’s show a total of 35 times. This might be one of his best appearances, however. You’ll laugh out loud when he says: “My doctor told me to run 5 miles a day for two weeks. I called him up and said ‘Doctor, I’m 70 miles away from my house.” Another favorite is “Last week I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.” Dangerfield also jokes about his wife and kids in this clip. “Last week
In this adorable video a pit bull named Diesel shows off how much he loves bubbles! And we have to say, he likes them. A LOT. Watch as his owners blow bubbles and pit bull Diesel jumps around like crazy trying to get them. He’s like a kid in a candy shop. Except the candy is behind glass and it’s impossible to get at it so instead you just try to jump in over and over and over again. It’s adorable to watch as pit bull Diesel tries to grab the bubbles with his mouth. I mean, this dog really
The awkward moment seal is one of the better new memes out there right now. The crux of this meme is to point out those every day moments we have all experienced that are, well, for lack of a better word: awkward. These aren’t the worst, totally embarrassing moments. These are those moments that you just sort of aren’t sure what to do. And the best part of the awkward seal moment meme is the photo of the seal’s face that someone found to be the template for it. This seal actually looks like he is in a very awkward
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever