If you’re a parent who celebrates Christmas, chances are you have an Elf on the Shelf and are taking full advantage of the fake disciplinary measures it can bring. For example, you better go to bed on time tonight because the Elf is watching you! Or, you better eat all your vegetables or else the Elf on the Shelf is going to tell Santa not to bring you that special present you’ve been wanting! Parents, you know the drill. But then there are other clever parents out there who have taken their Elf on the Shelf experience a wee bit
These funny Rodney Dangerfield quotes are just a few of the comedian’s best lines from his stand-up routine that spanned over 20 years. Rodney Dangerfield was one of the best comedians of our time, leaving his mark on the stage with jokes that stand the test of time. Chances are you’ve heard a few of these funny Rodney Dangerfield quotes before, and if you haven’t you’re in for a real treat. What few people know about Rodney Dangerfield is that his comedy club, Dangerfield’s, is still open in New York City, and has helped launch the careers of comedians such
17 Funny Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
These funny Rodney Dangerfield quotes are just a few of the comedian’s best lines from his stand-up routine that spanned over 20 years. Rodney Dangerfield was one of the best comedians of our time, leaving his mark on the stage with jokes that stand the …
Bobcat Goldthwait One Crazy Summer plays a classic Bobcat character named Egg Stork. Plenty of Aaagghh!!! Here are a few one liners from the movie: No! No! But I used to beat the shit out him! Why are you so fat? Why are so ugly?” Aaagghh! Ack Ack, let me tell you a little story. A story about a little fat kid who everybody made fun of, and nobody liked and he had a twin brother, and everybody said he never looked like his twin brother, but he wanted to…
These have to be the best reality TV moments collection we’ve ever seen. From Judge Joe Brown and Maury Povich guests to Dr. Phil quotes and even someone on BBC News, the descriptions and captions given by and to each of these people is downright hilarious. Click through the gallery to see some of the best reality TV moments, like the one woman who said she had sex for a lobster buffet dinner. Or the guy dressed in a skeleton mask who says he was a drama-free relationship. Or what about the man who was forced to eat his own
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever