This funny Rodney Dangerfield I Cant Take It No More video clip is an instant classic. Rodney Dangerfield is in classic form, and his jokes about his marriage as well as the way he looks are hilarious. One of the best lines from the Rodney Dangerfield I Cant Take It No More routine when he describes the first time he talked to his future on the phone. “She said come on over there’s nobody home. So, I went over and she was right…nobody was home.” Other hilarious lines lines include: “My wife is attached to a machine that keeps her alive…it’s called the refrigerator,” and “I
This clip of George Carlin on religion is exactly what you’d expect from a man who has made a career of skewering all of our institutions. There’s really no comedian better at taking all the things our society blindly holds dear and breaking them down to their elements to make them look ridiculous. For example in this George Carlin on religion clip, George just explains the concept of God in simple terms: There’s an invisible man in the sky who will make you burn forever if you don’t believe in him…but he loves you. That simple sentence right there has
Leave it to a big brother to put his little sister in check. One parent recently captured one child’s meltdown at the kitchen table while their older sibling looked on in disgust. The little child, a girl, is crying for no reason (as children do) when her big brother just looks at her and states the one question every parent in the world wants to know… “Why are you crying?” The big brother asked his sister if she took a nap today, and the sister answered honestly “no.” “Well, you need one,” the brother replies with a look that only
These might be the worst marriage proposals you’ve ever seen. In fact, we’re going to go ahead and say they ARE the worst marriage proposals you’ve seen. I mean, how lazy are the people who came up with these ideas, or lack thereof. Do they not realize that proposing with a pizza box is SO not romantic? Neither is proposing in a bathroom, while you’re on the toilet. And while you’re in there, neither is proposing with a shower curtain or getting down on one knee in a public bathroom. Talk about gross! What makes these the worst
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
a golden retriever
