The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.-Anonymous

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.-Agatha Christie Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes

According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Does that sound right? That means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.-Jerry Seinfeld Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.-Wendy Liebman Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.-Rod Stewart Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.-Sam Levenson Funny Quote

A filing cabinet is a place where you can lose things systematically.-T.H. Thompson Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.- John Wilmot Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes