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The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes Author: Dosis Von Lustig Author: Quotes Uncategorized ,
funny seinfeld quote

Is there anything better than a good Seinfeld quote? We don't think so, which is why we've compiled our favorite Seinfeld quotes EVER. Scroll through and share these Seinfeld quotes with friends for more than a few laughs.

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You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.-George

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I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!-Kramer

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If you can't say something bad about a relationship you shouldn't say anything at all.-George

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Mr. Ross: I don't think there's any greater tragedy than when parents outlive their children.
George Costanza: Yes, I hope my parents die long before I do.

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George Costanza: What kind of a person are you?
Jerry: I think I'm pretty much like you, only successful.

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See, this is what the holidays are all about. Three buddies sitting around chewing gum. –Kramer

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If you're not gonna be a part of a civil society, then just get in your car and drive on over to the East Side. –Kramer

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You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect. – George

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I have been performing feats of strength all morning. – Frank Costanza

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This woman hates me so much, I'm starting to like her.-George

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I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think "That's why I'm not a heterosexual." –George

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It became very clear to me sitting out there today that every decision I've made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat - it's all been wrong.– George

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When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.-George

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I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian. –Elaine

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That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.-Jerry

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Boy, these pretzels are makin' me thirsty. –Kramer

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Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it. – George

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Kramer: Well, I've got gonorrhea.
Elaine: That seems about right.

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Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.-George

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Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?-Jerry

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Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.-Jerry

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I've driven women to lesbianism before, but never a mental institution.-George

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I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham.-George

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You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.-Jerry

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I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.-George

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The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

funny seinfeld quote Is there anything better than a good Seinfeld quote? We don't think so, which is why we've compiled our favorite Seinfeld quotes EVER. Scroll through and share these Seinfeld quotes with friends for more than a few laughs.
You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.-George
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You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.-George

I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!-Kramer

If you can't say something bad about a relationship you shouldn't say anything at all.-George

Mr. Ross: I don't think there's any greater tragedy than when parents outlive their children. George Costanza: Yes, I hope my parents die long before I do.

George Costanza: What kind of a person are you? Jerry: I think I'm pretty much like you, only successful.

See, this is what the holidays are all about. Three buddies sitting around chewing gum. –Kramer

If you're not gonna be a part of a civil society, then just get in your car and drive on over to the East Side. –Kramer

You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect. – George

I have been performing feats of strength all morning. – Frank Costanza

This woman hates me so much, I'm starting to like her.-George

I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think "That's why I'm not a heterosexual." –George

It became very clear to me sitting out there today that every decision I've made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat - it's all been wrong.– George

When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.-George

I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian. –Elaine

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.-Jerry

Boy, these pretzels are makin' me thirsty. –Kramer

Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it. – George

Kramer: Well, I've got gonorrhea. Elaine: That seems about right.

Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.-George

Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?-Jerry

Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.-Jerry

I've driven women to lesbianism before, but never a mental institution.-George

I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham.-George

You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.-Jerry

I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.-George

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