Most Viewed Jokes

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.- Miles Kington Funny Quote

The Divorce Trick: An old man calls up his son and says, “Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. “I’m sick of her face, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her,” and he hangs up. Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister. She says, “Like hell they’re getting divorced!” and calls her father immediately. “You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do another

Funny: Accountants on a Train Joke Three lawyers and three accountants stood in line to buy tickets for a train ride to the city. The three accountants bought only one ticket between them, while the three lawyers bought one ticket each. After the men got on the train, one of the lawyers asked one of the accountants, “Why did you only buy one ticket when there’s three of you?” The accountant answered, “We are accountants, and very frugal with our money. Watch and learn.” As the train’s conductor made his way through the car, all the accountants got up and

In this insane video, a plane almost lands on a sunbather in Germany, leaving us all to wonder not only why there is an airplane landing strip so close to a public beach, but why someone would choose to lay out directly in front of it. The pilot, who said it “wasn’t one of my greatest achievements in the cockpit,” managed to not land on the sunbather, who looked to be only inches away from getting flattened like a pancake by the wheels of the small airplane. The plane was literally RIGHT ON TOP OF THE SUNBATHER. We still can’t