If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?- Milton Berle Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes
We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.- Robert Wilensky Funny Quote
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.- Charles Wadsworth Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.- Anonymous Funny Quote About Money Click here for more funny quotes
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.- Caskie Stinnett Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.- Steven Wright Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.- Anonymous Funny Quote About Kids Click here for more funny quotes
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.- Steven Wright Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.- Bill McGlashen Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.- Oscar Wilde Funny Quote Click here for more funny quotes
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.”- Claude Pepper Funny Quote
God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.- Ethel Mumford Funny Quote