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funny quotes

Elayne Boosler Funny Quote

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.-Elayne Boosler Funny Quote

Bob Monkhouse Funny Quote

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.- Bob Monkhouse Funny Quote