The Four Kinds of Sex Joke: HOUSE SEX – When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room. BEDROOM SEX – After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom. HALL SEX – After you’ve been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say “Screw YOU” COURTROOM SEX – When your wife and her lawyer screw you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you’ve got. Check out more funny jokes here!
Funny Joke: How Politics Works A small boy asks his Dad, “Daddy, what is politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the People. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.” So the little boy goes off to
Funny Taxman Joke: At the end of the tax year, The Taxation Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the agent was checking the books, he turned to the executive of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?” “Good question,” noted the executive. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.” “Oh,” replied
Funny Blind Man Joke: A woman is just getting out of the shower when there’s a knock at the door. She doesn’t have a towel at hand so she shouts, “Who is it?” “It’s the blind man” Realising the towel no longer matters, she opens the door. The blind man says, “Nice tits, love. Where do you want the blinds?” Check out more funny jokes!
I have a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m sexy.” Then I wait at green lights till I feel better about myself. Check out more funny jokes!
Q: How do you know when it’s going to be a good day at work?A: When you see your boss’ picture on the side of the milk carton. Click here for more Funny Jokes
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?” The assistant says, ”$2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. The assistant explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.” ”What about the green one?” the man asks. The assistant says, ”He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.” ”What
These funny Rodney Dangerfield jokes and one-liners are some of the comedian’s best material. We put together this collection of classic and hilarious Rodney Dangerfield jokes to honor the late comedian, who is one of the best of all-time. While Rodney Dangerfield loved to say he “got no respect,” that was not the case when it came to being one of the world’s funniest comedians. Click through the funny jokes and one-liners below, and check out the Rodney Dangerfield profile page on Dose of Funny to get even more jokes, quotes, and funny photos of the comedian, all in one place. I tell
Last week I told my wife, "If you would learn to cook, I could fire the chef." She said, "If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer."
These Bill Cosby quotes and jokes are hilarious, eclectic and most of all – awesome. It’s hard to boil the best of these Bill Cosby quotes and jokes down to the best since his career has spanned over 50 years. He has forgotten more jokes than more comedians will ever hear. But we did our best to put together a gallery of the cream of the crop. And if you like these, you should check out our Bill Cosby comedian page for tons more videos, quotes, memes and photos of the man himself. But enough from me, check out these
Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur?A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us.
A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was “cute.” She asked, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”
A woman and a man are lying in bed next to each other when her phone rings. She picks up, the man looks over at her and listens. She is speaking in a cheery voice, “Hi. I’m so glad you called. Really? That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye.” She hangs up and the man asks, “Who was that?” “Oh,” she replies, “that was my husband telling me about the great time he’s having on his fishing trip with you.”