Funny Joke: Important Rules for Riding a Bike A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives, in their language, when he realizes that the one thing, he never really taught them much was how to speak English. So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, “This is a tree.” The chief looks at the tree and grunts,”Tree.” The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points
A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Can I have a burger and fries?”“Sorry, this is a library.”So the blonde whispers, “Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?”
Funny Joke: The Confession An elderly Italian man lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: “Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.” The priest replied: “That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.” “There is more Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened
Funny: My Friends Call Me Bubba Joke A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat… As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston” He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to
Funny: $5 Cheese Sandwich Joke He goes straight to the bar and asks the barmaid for a beer which she begins to pour, while he’s waiting he notices their small food menu to the side: Cheese Sandwich $5, Ham Sandwich $5, Handjob $5. In disbelief he looks up at the barmaid who is absolutely gorgeous and asks “Are you the one who gives the handjobs?”, “Yep” she replies with a smile. He checks his wallet for the $5 and says, “Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich.” Check out more funny jokes here!
Funny: The Catholic Hairdryer Joke In parochial school, students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructors also advised that using a bit of imagination is OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, ‘Father, may I ask a favor?’ ‘Of course child. What may I do for you?’ ‘Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I’m
The Divorce Trick: An old man calls up his son and says, “Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. “I’m sick of her face, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her,” and he hangs up. Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister. She says, “Like hell they’re getting divorced!” and calls her father immediately. “You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do another
A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” He answered, “No.” The next question, intended for applicants who had answered, “Yes,” was “Why?” The lawyer answered it, “Never got caught.”
The best way to become everyone’s best friend or the greatest guy at any party is to have a handful of hilarious and funny one liner jokes at the ready. Not only will they always give you something to talk about when there’s a lull in the conversation, but you will also be able to impress the ladies. This video of the 15 best one liners should be memorized so you can pull one out at the right time. Now, the art to telling a joke is very dicey. It’s not a science, you have to feel when it’s right.
Q: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the front seat? A: Put him in the back seat.
Funny Clean Joke: An actor had been out of work for fifteen years because he always forgot his lines. Then one day he got a phone call from a director who wanted him for a big part in a play. All he had to say was “Hark! I hear the cannon roar! After much worry the actor decided to take the role. Opening night arrived, and while he waited in the wings, the actor muttered to himself “Hark! I hear the cannon roar! Hark! I hear the cannon roar! The time for the entrance finally came and as the actor
What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? “Omg, donut seeds!”