This clip of George Carlin comedy is so sad it’s true…and funny. As Americans we like our rights. We talk about them all the time. We’re proud of them, we brag about them and use them to look down on other people from other countries that supposedly have fewer rights than us. So, this George Carlin comedy clip focuses on rights. Where do our rights come from? Who gave them to us? God, is the usual answer, so George takes a look at our Bill of Rights and figures out that God may have made a mistake or two because
These funny pumpkin carvings are why we love Halloween so much. It gives us all a chance to either wear a totally weird, funny, our out-of-character Halloween costume, but it also gives us a chance to express ourselves via a funny pumpkin carving. And for some people, expressing themselves happens in a very strange and scary way. These funny pumpkin carvings really run the gamut when it comes to humor. Once you click through the funny pumpkin carving gallery above you can start to see people’s personalities (or lack thereof) start to shine through. There’s the stripper pumpkin, the mooning
Funny inspirational quotes can do a lot to not only lift your spirits but to remind you that even the great ones like Albert Einstein never took life too seriously. Below is a collection of our favorite funny inspirational quotes from Albert Einstein, Mark Twain, Lily Tomlin, Steve Martin, Robert Frost, and more. Enjoy, and be inspired! Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.- Thomas Eddison If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. – Betty
Parents can be so clever. Take this mom who created the You Got Grounded game for her child. How nice of her! In order for the kid to get ungrounded, they have to perform a series of chores that add up to 500 points. They can clean out the microwave for 40 points, sweep and mop the kitchen floor for 25 points, do one load of laundry for 100 points (mom must really want that), or write a nice letter to someone in the family for 10 points. We’re really liking the sound of this You Got Grounded game! Imagine all the
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever