It wasn’t uncommon to see Rodney Dangerfield on the Tonight Show in the 60’s and 70’s. In fact, the comdian appeared on Johnny Carson’s show a total of 35 times. This might be one of his best appearances, however. You’ll laugh out loud when he says: “My doctor told me to run 5 miles a day for two weeks. I called him up and said ‘Doctor, I’m 70 miles away from my house.” Another favorite is “Last week I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.” Dangerfield also jokes about his wife and kids in this clip. “Last week
Good news fat guys, this skinny guys vs fat guys comic is just what you need to see to tell yourself everything you need to hear. The next time someone tells you to lose all that weight, you should just pull up this comic and have them read it and weep. Not only are you more fun in bed, but you are more fun to cuddle with, you don’t have bony fingers and when playtime is over, you don’t just lie there, you bring snacks! So keep it up fat guys. Screw the health problems, hypertension and all the other
Having a bad or inappropriate name sucks, because unless you legally changed your name at some point in your life, a bad name is never your fault. It’s your parents. And to be fair, there are a ton of family names that are considered inappropriate/slang names in this country but don’t mean the same in others. So those parents get a pass, too. But if you’re from here and you selected one of these names for your child for no reason other than the fact that you thought it sounded good…well, then you should have your parenting license revoked.
Considering everyone and their mother is on Facebook these days, it’s not surprising to see posts from old people on their younger relatives’ newsfeeds. What’s so hilarious about those posts, however, is that they clarify just hot little old people know about social media, and in particular Facebook. We don’t want to make fun of them, but old people on Facebook are so darn funny! And the thing is we don’t blame them. We can see how not growing up with Facebook (or a computer) and trying to learn how to use it for the first time in your golden
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever