These funny police reports make us both love and hate humanity. Mostly we love you crazy people, though, because these funny police reports are definitely making us chuckle this Monday. Reading these funny police reports makes you realize that not only are some people completely insane, but they’re also completely insane. Oh, did we say that already? Well, it bears repeating…because some of these people are insane! There’s the woman who thought her mail was stolen because she didn’t receive any birthday cards (seriously?!), and the person who called in a squirrel that was acting funny and the police officer
These funny tweets aren’t all actually from this week, but we found them and think they’re deserving enough to go in our latest feature, Funny Tweets of the Week. Some of these tweets are from this week, last week, last month, and even some from way back in the day when Twitter was just a little thing that bounced on your grandmother’s lap. You know…WAY back in the day. But a funny tweet is a funny tweet, and we think you deserve to see the best 140 characters ever made at least once a week. Because we care for
This Eddie Murphy Michael Jackson scene kicks off Raw, his epically hilarious stand up special from 1987. This was back when Eddie Murphy ruled the comedy landscape. There was no one nearly as funny as he was since Richard Pryor, and arguably no one since has been anywhere close to as funny. From his movies of this era and his stand up specials (both Raw and Delirious) Eddie Murphy put together a body of work that is almost untouchable. This video clip of the beginning of his special Raw kicks off with a hilarious skit and then goes right into
This funny Rodney Dangerfield I Cant Take It No More video clip is an instant classic. Rodney Dangerfield is in classic form, and his jokes about his marriage as well as the way he looks are hilarious. One of the best lines from the Rodney Dangerfield I Cant Take It No More routine when he describes the first time he talked to his future on the phone. “She said come on over there’s nobody home. So, I went over and she was right…nobody was home.” Other hilarious lines lines include: “My wife is attached to a machine that keeps her alive…it’s called the refrigerator,” and “I
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever