It wasn’t uncommon to see Rodney Dangerfield on the Tonight Show in the 60’s and 70’s. In fact, the comdian appeared on Johnny Carson’s show a total of 35 times. This might be one of his best appearances, however. You’ll laugh out loud when he says: “My doctor told me to run 5 miles a day for two weeks. I called him up and said ‘Doctor, I’m 70 miles away from my house.” Another favorite is “Last week I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.” Dangerfield also jokes about his wife and kids in this clip. “Last week
These might be the worst marriage proposals you’ve ever seen. In fact, we’re going to go ahead and say they ARE the worst marriage proposals you’ve seen. I mean, how lazy are the people who came up with these ideas, or lack thereof. Do they not realize that proposing with a pizza box is SO not romantic? Neither is proposing in a bathroom, while you’re on the toilet. And while you’re in there, neither is proposing with a shower curtain or getting down on one knee in a public bathroom. Talk about gross! What makes these the worst
The George Carlin 7 words bit is one of the most famous routines in the history of comedy. Back when this came out in 1972, the media was slightly different than it is now. The censors in TV and movies had more control and they knew there were certain things that shouldn’t be said on TV. This was the ultimate f you to the establishment because this list of seven filthy words you can’t say on TV isn’t about actually saying the words on TV. He’s not trying to say them, but he’s just looking at how ridiculous it is
Is there anything better than a funny pun? And by funny we mean so awful that they make you laugh just because puns are so bad. But some funny puns are just downright fantastic, like this collection we put together for your viewing pleasure. When you’re done scrolling through those funny puns, check out a few other classics we just had to share. -Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now. -I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. -I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever