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Harland Williams Best Movie Quotes Author: Dosis Von Lustig Author: Quotes

Harland Williams, Fred Randall in Rocket Man: I’m 30 years old. I’m almost a grown man. Harland Williams, Fred Randall in Rocket Man: Fun is my Chinese neighbor’s middle name! Harland Williams, Fred Randall in Rocket Man: JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT! His name is my name too! Harland Williams, Fred Randall in Rocket Man: It reminds me of a French Canadian tennis racket, stuck to the back of a Venus snow-goon, bubbling out of my sister’s Brazilian donkey – I don’t think I can make myself any clearer! Harland Williams, Russell

Harland Williams Best Movie Quotes

Harland Williams, Fred Randall in Rocket Man: I’m 30 years old. I’m almost a grown man.
Bobcat Goldthwait Best Quotes Author: Dosis Von Lustig Author: Quotes

Police Academy 4, Zed: People just don’t understand me. Police Academy 4, Zed: No, I mean who I am. Man, now I have to worry about my diction too? Police Academy 4, Zed: Gene, Gene made a machine, and Joe, Joe made it go. Art, Art blew a fart and blew the whole damn thing apart. Police Academy 4, Zed: It’s getting to the point now when I’m with you, I no longer want to have something stuck in my eye… Your mother, my mother ain’t never looked like Florence Henderson…

Bobcat Goldthwait Best Quotes

Police Academy 4, Zed: No, I mean who I am. Man, now I have to worry about my diction too?
31 Epically Awesome Louis CK Quotes Author: Dosis Von Lustig Author: Quotes

Louis CK quotes can be a guide to how to lead your life. Louis CK is one of the greatest comedians in the comedy game today and is making himself one of the most important comedians of all time. Between his show Louis on FX, his appearances in movies and his epic stand up archive, he has a collection of some of the best quotes since George Carlin. Sit back, relax and let the life lessons of these Louis CK quotes wash over you. I ate too much and masturbated too recently, you know? It’s bad to like jerk

31 Epically Awesome Louis CK Quotes

It doesn’t have any effect on your life. What do you care?! People try to talk about it like it’s a social issue. Like when you see someone stand up on a talk show and say, “How am I supposed to explain to my children that two men are getting married?… I dunno. It’s your shitty kid. You fuckin’ tell ‘em. Why is that anyone else’s problem? Two guys are in love and they can’t get married because you don’t want to talk to your ugly child for five fuckin’ minutes?
Doug Benson Funny Quotes Author: Dosis Von Lustig Author: Quotes

Marijuana and funny jokes. If you enjoy these two, then hang on because we have 18 Doug Benson Funny Quotes. I was on the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself, “I’m getting too old for this shit.” People say pot smokers are lazy. I disagree. I am a multitasking pot smoker. Just the other day I was walking down the street. Stoned. OK, I won’t count that as two things. I was walking down the street. I was putting eye drops in my eyes. I was talking on my cellphone. And I was getting hit by

Doug Benson Funny Quotes

In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'
Best Adam Sandler Movie Quotes Author: Dosis Von Lustig Author: Quotes

The greatest minds at Dose of Funny have gathered and voted on the best Adam Sandler movie quotes or sayings. #17 – You Don’t Mess With The Zohan – Dalia, I don’t know how to tell you this. I cannot make sticky with anyone else. #16 – Mr. Deeds – I can’t run a company… I can’t even run my own life! #15 – Big Daddy – I had a mother lined up for him, but she’s bangin’ the Pepperidge Farm guy and the kid won’t stop peeing and throwing up, he’s like a cocker spaniel #14 – Happy Gilmore

Best Adam Sandler Movie Quotes

The greatest minds at Dose of Funny have gathered and voted on the best Adam Sandler movie quotes or sayings. #17 – You Don’t Mess With The Zohan – Dalia, I don’t know how to tell you this. I cannot make sticky with anyone else. …
The 75 Epically Amazing George Carlin Quotes Author: Dosis Von Lustig Author: Quotes

George Carlin quotes are some of the most revered, epic quotes in the history of comedy. Not only will they make you laugh, but they will make you think, and also get angry. Why do we have 75 George Carlin quotes here? I don’t know, we could have found a lot more, but we have things to do. (Actually, we don’t.) 75. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? 74. It is a sad thing to see an Indian wearing a cowboy hat. 73.

The 75 Epically Amazing George Carlin Quotes

10. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
18 Funny and Real Richard Pryor Quotes Author: Dosis Von Lustig Author: Quotes

Richard Pryor is one of the funniest comedians of all time. So we’re going to give you some of his funniest and most poignant quotes and jokes of all time. Some of these were when he was looking back on his life. Others were some from his act. This is a hodge podge of Richard Pryor quotes being honest, hilarious and sometimes both. 18. Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers. 17. I believe the ability to think is blessed. If you can think about a situation, you can deal with

18 Funny and Real Richard Pryor Quotes

6. I think about being married again, having a home and a wife. No one can ever be married too many times, and maybe if I keep trying I'll get it right one day.