Funny yearbook quotes have become a sort of rite of passage for graduating Seniors, and we couldn’t be happier. Sure, students could go the more serious route and put an inspirational quote for their graduating class, but what’s the point of making them feel inspired when you can make them laugh until they cry? This collection of funny yearbook quotes contains some of the best ones we’ve ever seen. And we’re even noticing patterns that are starting to emerge in these funny yearbook quotes. You’ve got your dumb blonde jokes, rapper jokes, religious jokes, gamer jokes, sexist jokes,
This clip of George Carlin on religion is exactly what you’d expect from a man who has made a career of skewering all of our institutions. There’s really no comedian better at taking all the things our society blindly holds dear and breaking them down to their elements to make them look ridiculous. For example in this George Carlin on religion clip, George just explains the concept of God in simple terms: There’s an invisible man in the sky who will make you burn forever if you don’t believe in him…but he loves you. That simple sentence right there has
Is there anything better than a good Seinfeld quote? We don’t think so, which is why we’ve compiled our favorite Seinfeld quotes EVER. Scroll through and share these Seinfeld quotes with friends for more than a few laughs. You should’ve seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.-George I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!-Kramer If you can’t say something bad about a relationship you shouldn’t say anything at all.-George Mr. Ross: I
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says “why are you back ?”Hunter says” not a good day .”Friend “says how do you know?”Other hunter says” sign on the road said ‘Bear Left’ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesn’t take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
There’s a huge broccoli outside!!!
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
a golden retriever
