Is there anything better than a good Seinfeld quote? We don’t think so, which is why we’ve compiled our favorite Seinfeld quotes EVER. Scroll through and share these Seinfeld quotes with friends for more than a few laughs. You should’ve seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.-George I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!-Kramer If you can’t say something bad about a relationship you shouldn’t say anything at all.-George Mr. Ross: I
The slogan “Louis CK destroys heckler” should be on your mind if you ever are stupid enough to try and mess with Louis CK when he’s onstage doing his show (or any time, really.) In this clip, Louis CK destroys heckler while onstage doing his act when he gets annoyed by a table full of people who won’t stop talking. He asks them somewhat nicely to please stop talking because they are messing up his timing because he can hear them very loudly. And instead of being a civilized group of people and realizing that they are being jerks who
OMG. This baby is so excited for the remote control that he reminds us of someone else we know, right ladies?! Our husbands! These babies really do learn at a young age, don’t they? đ What’s so cute about watching this baby get so excited about the remote control is that he’s clearly mesmerized by it. As soon as his parents take the remote control out of his site he goes back to being a totally normally baby. But then as soon as they put the remote control back in front of his face he gets so excited his hands
The Eddie Murphy Raw marriage bit may be the best bit in this entire stand up special. And that’s saying something because Raw is one of the funniest stand up specials in the history of comedy. But this scene is amazing. Eddie has decided that it’s time to get married. He found the love of his life, until he’s at the grocery store and sees a tabloid with a sad Johnny Carson and a happy ex-wife who had gotten half of his money. Half! Since Johnny Carson had $300 million he had to give $150 to his now ex-wife. Half!
125 Short and Funny Blonde Jokes
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says âwhy are you back ?âHunter saysâ not a good day .âFriend âsays how do you know?âOther hunter saysâ sign on the road said âBear Leftâ so we turned around.
Bear Left
Two idiots decide to go bear hunting and return in an hour. Friend says âwhy are you back ?âHunter saysâ not a good day .âFriend âsays how do you know?âOther hunter saysâ sign on the road said âBear Leftâ so we turned around.
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesnât take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of toilet paper. This should be the next Olympics event.
Nice jump
Everyone knows cats are smart and nothing can stands in their way of their friends. It doesnât take long for the cat to figure out how to outsmart their two-legged friends. The only question is how high do we need to stack the rolls of …
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Thereâs a huge broccoli outside!!!
We are going to need more cheese and a giant tub of olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper.
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
Funny Pool Sign: Welcome to our OOL and L
Everyone wants to come over for a swim, but they insist on peeing in the pool. Keeping your Pool clean is no laughing matter, but your Pool Sign can be.
You’d think one of them would’ve seen it
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the
You can paint my porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, …
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.” One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital
State Capitals
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with …
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A robber and a tv
A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello?
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the …
a golden retriever